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Friday, December 30th, 2005

Time:8:43 am.
Mood: frustrated.

Oh, five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred moments so dear (sarcasm)
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure - measure a year?

That's what I sing in my head after my mom and I "get into it." Like last night.

Now, I really have no desire to explain it all right now, but I will just say that I am getting gloriously CLOSER and CLOSER to the day I move out of my mom's house and into my own. Next year, when I start college, I'll be living with my father and his girlfriend in their new house which is closer to the college I'm going to.

I can't wait any longer! I want my 18th birthday to come soon, dammit! It'll be a relief to BOTH my mother and I. I loathe these little catfights we get into every time. It's a painful torture that keeps cycling and never ends! ;_;

Just, damn it. Damn it all TO HELL.
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Sunday, December 25th, 2005

Time:7:55 pm.
Mood: cheerful.
Merry (Fucking) Christmas, everyone!

Gah, I'm having a so-so Christmas. Yesterday we picked up my sisters from their homes (they live in homes for people who are mentally challenged) and by God, they were a couple of pistols. One would start and the other would go on after. They just kept repeating and repeating the same shit. Mom woke up having a bad day as it was and she didn't want to hear these two arguing and whining back and forth. I didn't either. It was Christmas, for crying out loud. I don't care if they're slow or not, nobody needs to go through a special day hearing people bitch and moan and being loud. I feel bad for my mom. She had to raise these kids since they were babies. o_O I mean, I love my sisters and all that, but Jesus, I could never ever live with them again. I asked my mom if she wanted to get together and committ suicide yet and she said, "No, but almost." I mean, they drove us both nuts!

Anyway, I received very nice things for Christmas. I probably have over $100 worth of money a long with giftcards from Borders book store and Old Navy. Not to mention a $250 check for my savings account. :D I got many nice things from my mom such as a duffle bag and the giftcard and a new phone from my dad and some DVDs I wanted. My mom loved the $20 giftcard I got for her for Barnes and Noble as well, and her stuffed Boston Terrier from Toys R Us. She thought it was really cute. Got money and a hot coca mug set from my grandparents.

What the hell am I going to do with that money? Well, I'm saving most of it in the bank, and then going shopping for things like clothes and all (I think I am actually already down a pants size! Yay! ^_^). I may go buy things for my mom's partner's birthday, which is New Years. I am also going to buy thank-you cards and all for everyone that gave me gifts. I hope my mom isn't like "Oh, well I'll pay that for you. That's YOUR money, sweetie. You shouldn't spend it on other people. Get what YOU WANT." Well, let's say that I'm totally sick of being told that I'm not responsible enough to pay for things that I need to get. I mean, just leave me alone to get what I want, damnit. I WANT to SPEND my money to buy things for people on their birthdays and all. One day I'm going to have to do this all on my own and I won't be asking my parents for money for the things I need. Then my mom would be bitching that I borrow money and not bring it back. Well, I guess it's different between kids and adults but still, I am almost an adult and I need to practice this sort of stuff. I want to rely on myself, you know?

Anyway... again, Merry Christmas, everyone!
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Friday, December 23rd, 2005

Time:6:48 pm.
Mood: relaxed.
Sorry for the break in updating. I just have been awfully busy and have not had the time to go online much or do anything. I'm busy with school and trying to focus on losing weight and whatnot.

Came back from a Weight Watchers meeting last night and I have lost a total of 9.5 (means nine and-a-half) pounds altogether. Whoo-hoo!

Christmas is two days away. I can't believe it. Christmas 2005. Sheesh... already. I finished my Christmas shopping last week. I actually know that I'm not going to get much this year since it seems like everyone is tight up on money. But I know I'm getting money to save for my senior trip this June to Ohio (yay!) and giftcards to shop for different things. I asked my dad for a couple of movies; Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Bewitched and the Longest Yard.

Though, I think the really big Christmas present that I really want is to graduate now and finally get into college. I'm living with my father during the week and having my room there. Though, unfortunately, I can't have that happen now. I have to wait until I get out of high school first.

How 'bout a New Years present? The best thing about receiving a New Years' gift is that you can get it year 'round instead of one day only. ;)

Ohh, speaking of NEW YEARS, I've heard some rumors that Vince Vaughn is going to be appearing in this New Years Eve bash-type special, like at Times Square in NYC or something. I better check up more on to that. Things aren't too well for Mr. Vaughn, though, since I've read a week ago that he was almost arrested for DWI (not good!). Did anybody else hear this?

Anyway, I hope he shows up in a special and not be dragging that little no-good-cannot-act publicity whore's ass a long with him. :x (Any Friends fans, don't get pissed at me, I'm kidding! :D)

Oh, yes. And not to be a pain in the ass or anything, but I think I may switch usernames again. I have one or two new ones in mind, and this I promise you, will be the LAST time. I just want to find the right name that I feel best suits me.
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Wednesday, December 14th, 2005

Time:5:58 am.
Mood: crappy.
Fuck... my period started yesterday and now I am sick and feel like shit. My head hurts and my stomach is ripping. I feel like I am going to puke. On top of all that, I am PMSing as well. Damn it.

Anyway, yeah uh, I may switch usernames again... for the last time. I have been trying to search for a new one since I want to start over again but Jesus it's like next to impossible to think one of your own because it's already taken! It's like wtf, dude?!

I have a couple screennames in mind that I would go back to. I had a username called brandi_love which I liked, so I may go back to that one. Here is a list of usernames that I've had but never was active with them.


Any suggestions?

And, oh yeah, went to Weight Watchers last night and I lost another 1 1/2. It really surprised me, since I went to the city and started my period and all. I was really relieved and now I'm going back on track this week. In the two weeks that I've been on the program, I've lost a total of seven pounds. Whoo-hoo.
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Monday, December 12th, 2005

Time:12:57 am.
Mood: sleepy.
Well, okay. I had a great time in New York today- ern, yesterday. It was pretty cool, especially at night. In the daytime the city is more "blah" than it is in the nighttime. In the nighttime, man it's alive. Those of you who have been there probably know what I'm talking about. It's just that the whole city comes to life when all the lights are up and shining bright all down through Town's Square and Rocketfeller... especially during the holidays. Ah yes, the Christmas lights and decorations make it, like, at least thirty times more spectacular.

I know I cheated a bit on my eating routine that I'm supposed to follow, but not majorly. I may have gone over the Weight Watchers points, but I was still aware to what I put into my mouth. I had an egg and ham muffin at Dunkin' Donuts in the morning, had ONE piece of Christmas candy being passed out on the bus, some juice, a chicken sandwich for lunch, a small white chocolate mocha at Starbuck's (which was delish, by the way. I now love Starbucks!), and a blueberry muffin later back home on the bus. Not like I pigged out on pizza and cheeseburgers and ice cream and shit. So hopefully I didn't do too bad. I tried "walking it off" as best I could. We did a lot of walking from block to block and for miles and miles, too.

The play Hairspray we went and saw was pretty awesome. By the sound of it, I thought it was going to be a pretty dumb play and felt like my ass was dragged to see it, but it turns out that I really, really liked it! It was pretty interesting. The acting and set was just so fantastic. I am interested in seeing Phantom of the Opera one day as well as Grease. I saw the Lion King show once five years ago, and thought that was pretty awesome. For some strange reason I think as I'm getting older I am becoming more and more drawn to these Broadway shows. I remember disliking them as a young teenager and thought they were pretty dumb and boring, but now I'm getting to think they're such works of art and imagination. These people that take the time to work on these shows surely do nothing but work their asses off, rehearsing and practicing every day and all. They are really much more talented than one can think.

Oh, bought cool Christmas gifts for my mom and her partner. I bought Mom a gift-card for Barnes & Noble and wrote it out for $15. I also later bought her a stuffed Boston Terrier dog at Toys 'R US.

That's all I'm going to write for now. *Yawns* I don't think I've EVER written a journal entry this late- um, early.
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Saturday, December 10th, 2005

Time:6:50 pm.
Mood: shocked.
Holy shit.

It has been reported that Richard Pryor died this morning of a heart attack.


He wasn't that old, either. He was 65.

I mean, I never was familiar with him since he was older and wasn't in my generation but I heard he was a very talented comedian and good actor. Will Smith idolized him.

Poor guy. I hope the best for his family, friends and millions of fans.

Rest in peace.
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Time:1:18 pm.
Mood: cold.
It seems to have been ages since I've updated. It's not like me to not stop and type out an update everyday or so. I guess it just indicates how busy I am.

Mom said that she wants me to cut back on my computer time, anyway. I got my report card yesterday and while I did pass good I didn't pass as well as I did last semester. I rose up in my other classes except U.S. Participation in Government, which was knocked down from a 92 to a 78. While I turned in my homework on time and everything but received a lower test score (I corrected it, though). Ugh... high school. Mom says that she's pleased that I've passed but said that I didn't pass as well as I should have, and she's probably right. She also said I should study more and understand more of the material in class. I followed her advice and woke up early this morning at around 5:30. I got dressed, ate breakfast and drank coffee and started to work on my report project that is due on Monday. I worked hard at it and the best I could. Hopefully it'll be a good grade-booster. I was working on it from 6:00 to almost 1:00 in the afternoon (you'd think it would be ten pages long or something!). Not that it required that much amount of work but I wouldn't to proofred it as best I could and try to get some needed information in there. It actually only had almost four pages, which is good. The assignment was two-to-three pages. So, hopefully, I'm good.

Going on a bus trip to New York City tomorrow with my father and his girlfriend. Can't wait. I went to the bank this morning at around 11:00 and took some money out of my account. I will use it for Christmas shopping tomorrow for my mom and all. I still am thinking of what to get her. I may get some things for other family members and friends, too. We'll see what I come across. We're also going to see a play in Rocketfellar Center. It'll be fun. I have to wake up EARLY tomorrow... like at 4:30 to get a shower and all. Or I may take one tonight before going to bed... but I usually like to take it in the morning because it's then easier to comb my hair when it's wet. Mom says to dress really warm. Heh, that won't be a problem there. Holy shit, it's so cold outside nowadays in New York. :P
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Sunday, December 4th, 2005

Time:1:53 pm.
Mood: bored.
I have a quick and simple message to everyone on my Friends' list who have faith in me and who are loyal.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Hee, hee, I made it myself. :D Yeah, I've been rather busy making graphics lately on ArcSoft Photo. It's pretty cool. I realized I can do more things than I'd ever imagine I would do.

Doing good with Weight Watchers. When I went back to the program last week after Thanksgiving break, I found that I had lost two pounds. I was real excited... was hoping to lose 3-5 pounds but that's okay. I've been trying to so hard and working to change the way I think of food and all. I've been trying my best to count my points everyday and write everything down, which is harder on the weekends, especially with the holiday approaching.

I was thinking up a goal for myself the other day on my weight-loss process. If I work real hard and be careful what I eat everyday, I want to lose twenty pounds by February. That depends on what my choices and actions will be, though, but I think can do it. Three to four months later, around May or June, I want to have lost twenty more pounds, and so on. Yes, it is a tall order for this but I believe I can do it if I just follow the rules of the program as best as I can.

But I've been doing good so far. I've been walking three to five times a day, been eating more fruits and vegtables and having smaller meals and snacks. I've also retrained myself to think more about other pleasures than food. :) Like computers, writing, movies, etc.

It's all money, baby! It's all money. :)
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Thursday, December 1st, 2005

Time:6:21 am.
Mood: thirsty.
Good morning. *Yawn* Is it Friday yet? -_-

Where is everyone? Have they gone to a trip to the moon this past couple of weeks or something?

Oh, and I deeply apologize for the lack of commenting in your journals. Really... I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be a snob or anything but it's just that I haven't had time to go on the Internet to do anything other than work and research.

I promise this morning that you'll see a comment from my username in all of your entries. That's my goal for this morning, actually.

I have this stock project in Economics class that I'm doing. All of the class had to buy up to five stocks from different companies and learn how they work and all. I bought Microsoft, Verizon, Barnes & Noble, Staples, Mead and Dell. It's pretty cool. I have to be honest, though, I don't know exactly how the whole stock works but I can understand some of it. We also had to do a 2-3 research paper on the background history of one of the companies we chose. I decided to do Microsoft. I started researching yesterday on the Internet... it's pretty interesting. I'm going to describe how Microsoft was invented and who founded it and all (We all know it's Mr. Gates!).

Ohh, speaking of Microsoft, do any of you guys know that there's going to be a whole new version out next fall? It's called Microsoft Vista. I first heard about it yesterday. I also saw some screenshots of what it would look like. It's really cool! Can't wait until it comes out just in time I go to college next fall.
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Tuesday, November 29th, 2005

Time:1:05 pm.
Mood: happy.
I got my John Travolta photo I requested for in the mail yesterday. Not only did I get a picture (supposedly) with his signature on it, it has my name written on it, too! Whoo-hoo. I was so excited and happy when I opened the envelope yesterday and saw the picture.

I scanned it and uploaded on my account on Photobucket just now. Here's what it looks like:

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Isn't that cool, man?! :D I mean, I'm not really sure it's actually his signature, but it's fun to believe, isn't it?
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Monday, November 28th, 2005

Time:6:02 am.
Mood: dirty.
So... how was everyone's Thanksgiving break?

Mine was all right, nothing spectacular. I was sick with a slight flu AND a cold one right after another.

The day before Thanksgiving I was feeling very lightheaded and throwing up. I was up around 1:30 a.m. that morning and couldn't go to sleep because my stomach was having pain. At first I thought that I probably just ate something bad the day before, but it turns out that I caught a bug. So, I was sick all day. I couldn't eat at all... I only wanted to drink. I think all I had that day was a bowl of cereal. 0.0 But I drank down everything in sight; water, cider, soda, orange juice, coffee. Probably because my mouth was so dry.

I was feeling better as the day went on, though. I started perking up a bit during the afternoon. I took some Ibrophen as my stomach settled and I wasn't puking anymore, which was good.

One bad thing that happened during the day was that I almost broke my mom's partner's blender. While we were at her house, I was trying to make a Weight Watchers recipe which was a smoothie-type thing (and I asked first), and I didn't do it right and almost busted the thing. I should have waited until I had help. Stupid me. >.< Mom wasn't pleased. She said that if the thing ended up to be busted then I had to pay for it by taking money from my bank account. Well, I have a Christmas shopping trip to New York City in a couple of weeks so that wouldn't have been so smooth would it? So, I started crying and being so upset with myself and all. Well, as it turns out, the thing was fine... all it needed was to be rinsed out and left to be dried off. Thank God... I was so relieved. I now don't touch anything in my mom's partner's house without asking her first, which I'm getting better at doing. I just need to stop acting so impulsive about everything and realize that there are things that people don't want you messing with, no matter how close you are to them. I guess we all do stupid things once in

Thanksgiving Day was fine. I didn't eat much of the dinner because a); my stomach was still sensitive from the day before, and b); I'm trying to be so good in Weight Watchers on my first week. I have been writing everything down in my WW journal... every little thing, and I haven't cheated. So, hopefully, when I go back to the meeting tomorrow night, I'll find that I have lost a pound or two. I know that people usually will lose a lot of weight on the first few weeks because of water weight. I know this because I've experienced it before. The first time I joined Weight Watchers in 2001 I started losing weight like crazy because it was just water weight. Then, like say almost a month or so later, I started slowly losing like a pound or so a week. I didn't last year when I rejoined because I didn't follow the rules, but now, this year, I am.

Anyway, after I recovered from the flu I started getting a cold, which wasn't fun, either. It's the dang weather. Ugh.

Ohh, went to the movies with my mom and her partner Saturday night. We saw Just Friends. It was so funny! I really liked it. I actually thought it wasn't going to be interesting because none of my favorite guys (Vince Vaughn, Will Smith, etc) were in it but I ended up liking it. It did have one of my favorite comic actresses, Anna Faris in it. She, as always, was great in it. She's such a nut, though. :P Heh, heh. And the lead actor, Ryan Renyolds is such a hottie! Man, I didn't even know who he was but when I first saw him I started melting. He's so handsome and his eyes are so pretty. I usually don't go for "pretty" boys much, but... lol.
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Monday, November 21st, 2005

Time:3:36 pm.
Mood: happy.
I received an acceptance letter in the mail today from the college I applied to! WHOO-HOO! ^.^ I got accepted in the Computer Graphics Technology program that will lead me to get the Associate in Applied Science degree. I'm so content as of right now! :D
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Friday, November 18th, 2005

Time:1:18 pm.
Mood: busy.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

He made it. (Well, fucking DUH! :P)
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Monday, November 14th, 2005

Time:6:19 am.
Mood: anxious.
First real entry to my new journal/username. I hope I haven't inconvienced anyone by switching usernames. I know that can be a real pain, re-adding someone again. Ugh. But thank you all who followed me.

Anyway, good Heavens. Busy week. Busy weekend. The pressure between my mother and I. Our relationship is still tip-toeing on hot sand, as it is most of the time. I had kind of a bad day on Saturday, and I'm not sure why. It was just one of those days where you just are in a horrible mood but nothing really has happened to make it seem so! My mom asked me, "What's wrong? What's wrong? Are you okay? You seem a bit grumpy today. What is it? Did somebody bother you? Did I say something?" Blah, blah, blah.

I think it was something deep inside that was bothing me... probably about the future. I want to move into an apartment next year when I go take courses at college, but first I need a job and I need to save money. My mom says that I can move back and forth to her house and my dad and his girlfriend's. I'm just really stressing at the moment and I don't know what to do. I've been trying and trying to hold my own. Truth is, I don't want to live with my parents any longer (my mother especially). I feel as if I'm ready to live on my own now. It's just that it is one of those times where you feel ready to take action but you're not. It's difficult for me to explain, but I hope you know what I mean.

And oh, am I busy searching for a job. Maybe I'm just impatient and need to relax a little. I'll recieve a call, it just takes time. But I've applied to many, many stores and companies. I've been making calls, writing e-mails and sending in applications like crazy. It's just so hard. I go out in public to just about every resturaunt there is, and I see people I know from school working there, earning money and experience. I'm thinking, Well, why am I not doing that? It's not fair.

It's not that I don't try to present myself well! I always go into the store I'm applying to and always wear a nice sweater and have my hair pulled up and all. I try to approach the employers with a big smile and willingess to work. Maybe I'm not filling in information the way they want to in the application? There are many times I don't come prepared like I probably should. I always come with a pen and all, but sometimes I'll forget some phone numbers I am asked to write down and stuff. There are times that I forget my references' phone numbers. Maybe that could also be.

But anyway, that is all for now and I apologize for all of the drama, I just felt like I needed to get this off my shoulders a little bit. Thanks for listening. :)

Oh, I saw the movie Swingers for the first time on television yesterday. I've been wanting to see it for a long time. I have to say that it's a great movie and Vince Vaughn is so hot and such a cutie. Damn, I want him. :( I would cuddle with him because he's so damned cute and sexy. Yes, seeing the movie yesterday fueled my Vince-fix. ;)
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Friday, November 11th, 2005

Time:8:07 am.
Mood: rejuvenated.







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LiveJournal for Brandi.

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